It's over...Christmas
Posted by: Yours Truly on 12/26/2005 at 5:10 AM | Comments (8) | Permalink
You'll Never Believe...
Posted by: Yours Truly on 11/23/2005 at 10:21 AM | Comments (1) | Permalink
Texas Hold'em
Posted by: Yours Truly on 11/13/2005 at 2:15 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink
What's a mom to do?
It's well after 3:00 AM and I'm unable to sleep because I have this "thing" I'm mulling over and just don't know what to do about it. I figured that I'd come and blog just in case anyone out there has all the answers. So, here it is...
My daughter, soon to be 11, is in the 5th grade and has never had any issues with school. She's a good kid, does her homework and has excellent grades. In fact they've always been straight A's until this last quarter.
She had missed a few days of school due to illness and as a result, she of course had some homework. I kept asking her over and over, "Don't you have any homework?" "Nope." She'd say. "I did it in school."
I'm thinking ok...no problem. I get to conferences and find out she's not really being totally honest. Her teacher tells me that she kinda had to get on her to get her homework done. She eventually did though, nothing to be concerned about.
We get to the subject of social studies and I come to find out my daughter has a "B" vs. an "A". She has a different teacher for social studies but there was note attached to her grade report indicating the grade fell due to 2 zeros for uncompleted work. (From when she was sick.)
I asked my daughter what happened and she told me that she had done it and has no idea why they are still zeros. I sent her on a mission to work it out with her teacher. She swears to Holy Heaven she did the work but her teacher tells her she never got it and she can't make it up.
The following week she brings home a note from her teacher saying she didn't complete her spelling work. I asked my daughter what the deal was and she admitted she had forgotten to write the assignment down and didn't get it done. I had to sign off on the note and I told her if I had to do this ever again I was going to ground her for a week. No TV, no computer, no basketball and she had to do housework in its place everyday until she went to bed. Message received! This will not happen again.
This past week she had to bring another note from her teacher about work she didn't complete. I know she did the work because I checked it. I asked her what had happened and she started to cry. She thinks she handed it in to the wrong teacher. It was in with her social studies papers and thinks it was accidentally turned in there. I was still very angry and told her she needed to get a note from her teacher...either one... telling me if the work had been found.
Today she came home with a note saying the work had not been found but that she had redone it and was granted full credit. I looked at the note and didn't say a word. Stewed about it for a minute, and told her she needed to call her dad and her grandparents and tell them not to go to her game because she wouldn't be playing basketball today.
My mother thinks I'm mean, and my husband disagrees and thinks I'm too hard on her. I think if I back down she'll never learn to take this seriously and learn responsibility. I decide to call her regular teacher and ask her about it. She wasn't really very helpful. She said his is why she has a three strike rule...sometimes accidents happen... and that was about it.
I thought it over, simmered down and talked with my daughter about the situation. I asked her how she felt and she told me sad. I asked her if she was angry and she said yes she was. I asked at whom and she told me herself. I asked her if she really felt that way or was saying that because it was what she thought I wanted to hear. She said it really was the way she felt.
I asked her all the typical questions. Was she having trouble in school? With friends? With drugs? With alcohol? Had something happened to her? Did someone hurt her? She assured me none of the above was the case and she had no reason, no excuse.
After further discussion we decided neither one of knew what to do about this. We'd never had this problem before. She wasn't a parent and had no idea and I had never had a daughter who got into trouble for not doing homework before and I had no idea.
This is what we decided upon. She would never again be allowed to watch TV before completing homework. She would remain grounded from the computer for 1 week, and I'd let her go to her last basketball game of the season the following week. I'd love her forever and ever, but I won't let her fail at school. It's just too important.
The bottom line:
My little girl was crying because she had disappointed me and knew it full well. She wasn't crying because she knew she was about to be punished.
She had no idea how I was struggling and that my mother and her dad thought I was too strict. She had no idea that I wanted to sit down next to her and cry too.
I have no idea what was right or wrong here, all I know is that I don't know. I don't think it will happen again, but I've been wrong before.
So...If anyone is out there with an opinion...I'd love to hear it. Thanks for "listening". I needed to get it off my chest!
Posted by: Yours Truly on 11/11/2005 at 3:19 AM | Comments (3) | Permalink
Children...Gotta Love 'Em
Posted by: Yours Truly on 11/1/2005 at 9:26 AM | Comments (1) | Permalink