Another party... another anxiety attack...

Why in the world would an intelligent, fairly put-together woman like me fall for the marketing ploys of U.S. advertisers telling me I'm so much less than acceptable?

I'm usually quite o.k. about my self-image until it happens... (and frankly it's happening a bit early this season) my husband and I get invited to a party.

I love socializing. I hate thinking about what's appropriate to wear and how I will look in it. I know, I know... "then don't think about it idiot," you say.

I can't help it. The images of "perfect" women haunt me. The Dove advertising campaign of "Real Women, Real Bodies" hasn't sunk in yet.

I'm KNOW for a fact I am not alone on this. What I can't figure out is why we, as women, can't break free! Why! WHY WHY!!!!

I going to think that one over a hot fudge sundae...

Posted by: chaosmanager on 9/25/2005 at 9:13 PM | Comments (76) | Permalink

If only I had time management skills like that

It took him 30 seconds... 45 tops.

The Two-Year-Old out-did himself this morning.

During the time it took me to refill my coffee cup and stick it in the microwave for 30 seconds, he managed to locate, uncover, and work his magic with a green marker. He also found time to take off his diaper and pee on the kitchen floor.

The green art was on my kitchen floor, ran down the length of the hallway, stopping briefly at the white bathroom door -- which apparently needed some color. It continued to the stairway banister, and continued across a good portion of the living room walls. He didn't miss the beautiful grandmother clock my parents gave us either (woodwork, glass and all).

Amazing.

Can you imagine if I could capture that kind of focus, intensity and drive? Oh, the things I could accomplish!

He is currently serving a time-out in his crib. I'm going to leave him there until I can get another cup full of coffee in my system. I think I'm going to need it today.

Posted by: chaosmanager on 9/22/2005 at 8:10 AM | Comments (42) | Permalink

The Parents Are Coming!

My parents are coming tomorrow. Not for a visit, though... they are coming for good.

In the last several months since they made the decision to move permanently to Fargo, I have found myself in the position of answering the same question repeatedly: "Is this good?"

Yes, it's good - At least I think it's good. I mean, in my head where fairy tales DO come true, it's quite good...    I think.

Nah, I know it's good! HOW can it be bad? Now, if this arrangment had come about 10 years ago -- bad. VERY bad. I was 28 years old then... I was still their kid. I was still trying to break free.

Now, at 38, I'm an adult - Holy cow, I have four kids of my own. I am a parent, even if some days I hold that title questionably.

Did I mention they are moving down the street from me? Uhm, maybe I didn't. Did I mention they will be within walking distance for even The Two-Year-Old? 

Enough about the jokes, I AM excited about it and so is my family -- yes, even my husband is excited -- hey, his parents moved to Moorhead about 5 years ago and that's been awesome for us and the kids. We spend more time socializing with them than anyone else.  Yes, about 10 years ago, it wouldn't have worked, but it's amazing what 10 years will do to people. I have learned to truly appreciate my parents for who they are AND they appreciate me. We don't always agree, but we do accept and love each other.

Guess what my mom says everyone has said to her since she announced she was moving down the street from her daughter? "Is this good?"

Posted by: chaosmanager on 9/21/2005 at 8:23 PM | Comments (16) | Permalink

No Tolerance Day

Today was a "No Tolerance Day".

For about 363 days a year, I manage to find tolerance for almost everything. Here's a very short list:

- open boxes of cereal half-eaten and clevery hidden under the couch cushions.

- a brand new jacket my son just "had to have" tossed on the garage floor, obviously used as some cleaning mechanism.

- telling me teeth are brushed when clearly, the toothbrush is dry as the Sahara and the toothpaste still has it's seal.

- laundry that has been washed, 50% dried, then thrown into a basket when I wasn't around... only to be found a day later by me, dried to a crumpled crisp.

- picking up the mess I call home before I go to bed only to wake up the next morning to find that apparently Hurricane Ophelia has made it inland to my street address.

How can four boys, a husband and two small dogs do so much in so little time? I can't seem to accomplish anything in a day.

A "No Tolerance Day" is a day when I release all the pressure built up inside by yelling very loudly, thus frightening my children into action (because I don't yell very often). Believe me, I've tried the chore lists, reward systems, punishment systems... they don't work for me. They are MORE work than me doing it myself.

I am only one woman in a house where I need to be fifty women.

God, I need a wife.

Posted by: chaosmanager on 9/15/2005 at 5:01 PM | Comments (20) | Permalink

Puttin' A Layer O' Fat On

I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't think I'm ovulating. I swear it was the cool breeze that made me do it. I am on a MAJOR eating rampage. I think my body senses cold weather a' comin' and my appetite went into high gear. I couldn't eat enough.

It started yesterday around 2 pm and it hasn't slowed down yet. I am craving comfort food of all kinds -- soup, stew, warm sandwiches and yes, chocolate. Mostly chocolate. I washed down two "Big Size" candy bars yesterday with a Diet Coke. Man, it was good. Nothing compares to the short-lived joy I feel from a sugar rush. I wish celery sticks and a V-8 could be that good for me...

Oh... it got worse (or better, depending on how you look at it). I had a piece of chocolate cake with ice cream at night. It wasn't too "die for" chocolate cake, but it had to do -- it's all I could get my hands on at the time.

Hummm, right now... I am SO CRAVING a Culver's Turtle Sundae. If you haven't tried Culver's ice cream -- you haven't felt the height of ecstacy. Seriously. It is that good.

It's gotta be my hormones.

Posted by: chaosmanager on 9/13/2005 at 5:46 PM | Comments (2) | Permalink