Leave Gloria's baby alone

LeBron James' mom, Gloria James, took exception to a foul by Boston Celtics forward Paul Pierce against her son during Game 4 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series Monday between the Celtics and Cavaliers in Cleveland.

Gloria James had to be restrained by Celtics forward Kevin Garnett while Brad Pitt's stunt double held the ball.

The Cavs won the game to tie the series 2-all.

I hope LeBron got her something really cool for Mother's Day.

Photo by Mark Duncan / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 5.12.2008 at 11:29 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Better late than Nevre

In the words of the Spice Girls, "Goodbye, my friend." That's what John Madden was rumored to be singing on the morning of March 4, the day Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre announced his retirement.
Since then, NFL "experts" and fans have discounted the Green Bay Packers' playoff chances for next season. The thought of Aaron Rodgers, Brian Brohm, Matt Flynn, Craig Nall or anyone else taking snaps for the green and gold, combined with the offseason moves by the Minnesota Vikings, has people picking the purple to take the NFC North Division title.
Not so fast.
While I'd love to believe that the Vikings' acquisition of guys like wide receiver Bernard Berrian (Chicago) and defensive end Jared Allen (Kansas City) will lead to a date at Super Bowl XLIII on Feb. 1, 2009, in Tampa, Fla., against the New England Patriots and wide receiver Randy "Straight Cash, Homey" Moss, I think the Packers have to remain the favorites in the NFC's Black & Blue Division.
Rodgers, who isn't nearly as bad or as fragile as people say, should wind up the starter on a team with great receivers, a decent running back and offensive line and a young and talented defense.
The Vikings, while making significant improvements since last season, need to remember Brad Childress still is their coach. They'll win less games than they should as long as he's running the show.
NFC North prediction: 1st place -- Green Bay, 2nd -- Minnesota, 3rd -- Chicago, 4th -- Detroit
As for Favre, he's the coverboy for Madden NFL '09. I hope for his sake the game's cover curse won't be in effect now that his playing days are done.
Associated Press photo

Posted by: jimmy on 5.09.2008 at 8:35 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Darrion Scott is not a good father

Darrion Scott, a former Minnesota Vikings defensive lineman, was charged with assault Tuesday.

An athlete charged with assault? Big deal; happens all the time, right?

Not like this.

Scott, a free agent after spending his first four seasons with Minnesota, is accused of choking his 2-year-old son by putting a plastic dry cleaning bag over his head and holding it on. Scott also was charged with endangerment of a child after leaving a loaded gun in an unlocked drawer where his kid had access.

Good luck finding a job for next season, Darrion.

2007 file photo / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 5.06.2008 at 7:17 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Purple Police Beater

Someone take away Carl Eller's keys.

For the second time since 2006, the Pro Football Hall of Famer was picked up for driving under the influence (allegedly).

Early Wednesday, Minneapolis police arrested the 66-year-old, who spent 15 seasons as a member of the Minnesota Vikings' vaunted "Purple People Eaters" defensive line.

According to police, Eller refused to pull over and drove at speeds up to 60 mph on residential roads and didn't stop until pulling his Mercedes SUV into his garage. After getting out of his vehicle, Eller punched one officer and threw the other onto the hood of his Mercedes. The cherry on top was the Taser shot Eller absorbed with no effect.

Maybe he's just trying to be reunited with former linemate Alan Page, the Minnesota Supreme Court Justice.

Photo by Hennepin County Sheriff's Office

Posted by: jimmy on 4.09.2008 at 9:01 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

NHL's All-Playoff Beard team

Now that the greatest event in sports -- the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs -- is here, I thought I'd release my All-Playoff Beard team.
The beard is to the NHL postseason as a Packers Starter jacket is to a Wisconsin resident.
This isn't the end-all of beard lists, but instead recognizes those who have consistently had beautiful facial hair come playoff time and seen success.

To fully appreciate the playoff beard, one must see what these guys look like outside of the playoffs. It's quite a dramatic transformation.

In no particular order:

Erik Cole, Carolina Hurricanes

As a rookie in 2002, Cole led Carolina to the Stanley Cup finals -- a five-game loss to Detroit -- and dazzled fans with not only his play, but a beard worthy of former Florida Panther and Calgary Flame Dave Lowry (see below).

After breaking his neck during the 2005-06 season, Cole's beard (right) nursed him back to health in time for an appearance in Game 7 of the 2006 finals against Edmonton.

That night, the Hurricanes won the Cup. Coincidence, or pure beard brutality? I'll take the latter. Even ultimate bandwagoner Kid Rock was impressed. After celebrating his hometown Detroit Red Wings' Stanley Cup victory over Carolina in 2002, somehow Mr. Rock found his way back onto the ice to celebrate with the Hurricanes. Huh? He was also waving a terrible towel when Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl in 2006. C'mon, Kid. Pick a city and stick with it.

Dave Lowry, Florida Panthers/Calgary Flames

Lowry's beard is so elusive, I can't even find a photo of it. So please accept my apology and settle for this artist's renduring (Thanks, Cristof).

First appearing during the Florida Panthers' surprising Cup finals run of 1996, Lowry's beard was the definition of the 4-year-old Panthers: gritty.

Though Florida was swept by the Colorado Avalanche in four games, Lowry's beard made its way back to the finals eight years later. But it wasn't enough as Lowry's Calgary Flames fell in seven games to the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2004.

Crushed by another Stanley Cup finals defeat, Lowry and his beard called it a career.

Mike Commodore, Calgary Flames/Carolina Hurricanes/Ottawa Senators

As if the beard wasn't enough, Commodore's red afro does for his facial hair what the Detroit Tigers baseball cap did for Magnum P.I.'s mustache.

It seems like each time this guy gets into the postseason, his team gets to the finals. Commodore helped the Flames reach the 2004 finals. It's hard to believe that they didn't win with him and Dave Lowry on the same team.

After taking a full year off due to the NHL lockout of 2004-05, Commodore's beard returned above a new sweater in 2005-06 with the Carolina Hurricanes. Commodore's growth got the help it needed when Erik Cole's beard made its Game 7 return.

Ottawa, Commodore's current team, started the season hot but has since cooled down, sitting in the No. 6 seed. A Stanley Cup finalist a year ago, the Senators could get over the hump with the help of that red puff.

Todd Marchant, Anaheim Ducks

Marchant, a career third-liner, is propelled to first-line levels of play each postseason because of his beard's power.

He helped lead the Ducks to the Stanley Cup championship last season after being a steady playoff performer for years as a member of the Edmonton Oilers.

I'm looking for big things from him during the playoffs this year.

Scott Niedermayer, Anaheim Ducks/New Jersey Devils

A four-time Stanley Cup winner, the seemingly ageless blue liner only shows his years during the playoffs, when the gray hair shows on his beard.

Great beard growth must be in the Niedermayer family's genes. Brother Rob (44) also can grow an impressive one. He, too, was a member of the 1996 Panthers team with Lowry. Amazing how these beards come full circle.

The Niedermayers and Marchant aren't the only Ducks with great growth:

Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Anaheim Ducks

I give credit to any goaltender who goes with the beard, especially if they don't sport it regularly. It has to itch like crazy under those masks.

But J.S. Giguere had a crazy beard in 2003, when he won the Conn Smythe trophy as playoff MVP in the then-Mighty Ducks' seven-game Stanley Cup finals loss to Scott Niedermayer's New Jersey Devils.

Giguere made it back to the finals last year and led the Ducks to a five-game victory over Ottawa.

The Ducks will be dangerous again this postseason after adding center Doug Weight earlier this season. He and his beard won a Cup title with Carolina in 2006. They also have Todd Bertuzzi who has been known to grow a nice beard.

Posted by: jimmy on 4.08.2008 at 4:58 PM | Comments (2) | Permalink

UMD's Martin takes home biggest prize

At some point Thursday night, Minnesota Duluth women's hockey goaltender Kim Martin must have decided she wasn't going to allow a goal the rest of the season.
The UMD star gave up a game-tying goal against New Hampshire in the second period -- a period in which the Bulldogs failed to record a shot -- of an NCAA Frozen Four semifinal game at the Duluth Entertainment Convention Center.
UMD scored the eventual winning goal in the third, and Martin stopped 41 of 43 shots to lift the Bulldogs to a 3-2 victory and into the national championship game, a rematch of the 2007 title game against two-time defending champion Wisconsin.
Martin's magic continued Saturday in the title game as she turned aside all 28 shots she faced in a 4-0 shutout over the Western Collegiate Hockey Association-rival Badgers. The performance earned her an all-tournament-team spot and the tournament's Most Outstanding Player award.
UMD, outshot by a 71-39 margin -- 43-15 against UNH and 28-24 against Wisconsin -- in its final two games, outscored its opponents 7-2 and received 69 saves from its Swedish sophomore goalie.
"We know Martin's a great goalie, and when she's on she's really on," Badgers forward Jinelle Zaugg said after Saturday's loss. "Our goal was to shoot the puck, and we really needed to get on top of those rebounds. She took some [goals] away from us that we should've had.
"It was tough to get started, but we had a lot of shots and a lot of opportunities."
Martin, who led Sweden to a silver medal in the 2006 Winter Olympics, was a top-three finalist for the Patty Kazmaier Memorial Award as the top player in college women's hockey. Harvard forward Sarah Vaillancourt won the award, which was presented Friday night at the Radisson Hotel in Duluth. A Harvard player has won the award six times in its 11-year history.
If voting took place after the Frozen Four, or even after Thursday's semifinal game, quite a few people would have given the nod to Martin. UMD, owner of four NCAA championships, has never had a Kazmaier winner, despite great former players like Jenny Potter, Maria Rooth and Erika Holst.

"I'd rather have a national championship than having an award," Martin said, "even though it's an honor to get it."

Photo by Jack Rendulich / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 3.22.2008 at 4:14 PM | Comments (1) | Permalink

Is this really necessary?

An Associated Press story Tuesday said baseball players' union head Donald Fehr (left) will investigate the lack of offseason offers to free agent Barry Bonds as a part of its annual review of the free-agent market.
Really? You really have no idea why no one would want to touch this guy?
Here's a few reasons:
1. He was indicted in November on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice
2. He is the posterboy -- whether it's fair or not -- for baseball's steroids era
3. The guy is 43 years old
4. He could barely move in the outfield last season (see No. 3)
5. If Bonds' baggage wasn't enough of a deterrent, whoever signs him, that team's clubhouse would give way to more cameras than a Britney Spears trip to Starbucks

Should I keep going?

Photo by Andy Lyon / Getty Images

Posted by: jimmy on 3.18.2008 at 11:38 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Candace Parker is leaving school early. Really?

I'll be the first to admit I'm no expert when it comes to college women's basketball. But in what I think is a first, Tennessee superstar Candace Parker announced Thursday she is leaving school early to enter the WNBA draft.
The 6-foot-4 Parker, a junior in athletic eligibility who will graduate this spring, said she wants to focus on the Olympics and her professional career.
I'm just curious about two things:
1. The timing -- How is it OK that she makes this announcement midseason. Isn't anyone concerned about this being a distraction to the third-ranked Lady Vols? Apparently not. Tennessee destroyed Alabama 85-58 on Thursday night in Tuscaloosa, Ala., behind 19 points from Parker. I can't remember a college men's basketball player announcing during a season -- though there's inevitably speculation from others -- that he will enter the NBA draft.
2. Why leave Tennessee early? -- Parker already has a national title. The Lady Vols won the national title a year ago and could easily win their record eighth this season. But still, why give up a shot at a title with a perennial contender? I wonder how her teammates and coach feel.
Parker's fiance, former Duke and current NBA player Shelden Williams, was traded from the Atlanta Hawks to the Sacramento Kings last week. Guess who has the No. 1 pick in the WNBA draft? The Los Angeles Sparks.
Why is the "O.C." theme song stuck in my head?

Photo by Wade Payne / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 2.21.2008 at 8:37 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Why, Johan? Why?

Why does looking at this hurt so much?

Photo by Frank Franklin II / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 2.06.2008 at 4:53 PM | Comments (2) | Permalink

Patriots tie '84 Niners and '85 Bears!

For the second straight season, a quarterback named Manning ended the New England Patriots' season. Like Peyton and the Colts did in the AFC championship a year ago, younger brother Eli and the New York Giants stopped Tom Brady, Bill Belicheat, I mean, Belichick and company short of their Super Bowl championship goal.
The Patriots' shot at 19-0 is gone, leaving them 18-1, just like the 1984 San Francisco 49ers and the '85 Chicago Bears. The only difference is those teams won the Super Bowl.
Leading up to the game, I was torn over who I wanted to see win. I had reasons for both.
Reasons to want New England to win:
-- No more 1972 Miami Dolphins champagne celebrations. The only team in NFL history to go unbeaten -- they went 17-0 that season -- legend has it members of that squad get together each year when the final unbeaten team goes down. I shouldn't even know who Mercury Morris is. This was his chance to finally go away.

-- Super Bowl, homeboy. I wanted to see my favorite athlete of all time, Randy Moss, get a Super Bowl ring. The former Vikings wide receiver was tremendous all season, despite having a relatively quiet postseason. His touchdown catch late in Sunday's game put the Pats up 14-10 before Manning, David Tyree and Plaxico Burress struck.

-- Tom Brady. Seeing the guy go 4-for-4 in Super Bowls would've been way better than 3-for-4 or one less-for-one more, depending on how his career pans out. Talk of being better than Joe Montana might dissipate now. Sunday's game showed how important a pass rush can be against any QB.

-- Junior Seau. The 18-year vet suffered through a blowout Super Bowl loss 13 years ago as a member of the San Diego Chargers. This was his shot, unless he comes back next season.

-- New York being New York. Yeah they play in New Jersey, but the Giants are still a New York team. Does this win take away the sting of the Yankees tanking to the Red Sox in 2004? Probably not. Can we please stop hearing about how the spotlight shines brighter in New York than anywhere else? Having New York win instead of the unbeaten Patriots is like Satan beating Darth Vader. They're both pretty evil dudes.

Reasons for the Giants to win:
-- Eli Manning. Seeing brothers win Super Bowl titles back to back, along with each getting the MVP award, was pretty cool. This guy has taken a beating from everyone -- fans, media, all NFL-types. I'm pleased to see this guy win even though he always looks like he's halfway through a 12-pack of Mich Golden Light. Can you imagine what talk would be taking place right now if Peyton Manning hadn't won his Super Bowl? Archie Manning must be one proud dad.

-- Michael Strahan. The guy contemplated retirement before the season, and he was nearly bled dry from a divorce settlement that requires him to pay his ex like $15 million-plus. He wins his first Super Bowl in the second try of his 15-year career. He was part of a beastly front four that terrorized Brady all night.

-- In your face, Tiki Barber. The former Giants running back retired after last season and took a job as a football analyst on NBC. He often caused a distraction by publicly criticizing his coach and quarterback. Barber was with the Giants during their Super Bowl loss against Baltimore in 2001. He was replaced this season by Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw, who did a great job running the ball -- like Barber -- and an even better job keeping their mouths shut.

The best thing about the Super Bowl? No, not Tom Petty's halftime show or the overrated commercials. For once it was the game that made for a great night.

Photo by Charlie Riedel / Associated Press

Posted by: jimmy on 2.04.2008 at 5:31 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink